A year on ... 2017 ... moving from Defiance to Determination!!

I started this BLOG about a year ago and at that time, I was so motivated or so I thought, and yet throughout the year, I reverted as I have done so many times in my 44yrs back to old habits, denying my own success through self sabotage and an unwillingness to give myself the encouragement I needed to keep motivated and keep going.

I am actually a Psychologist and I spend my time motivating others to set their goals based on their values and I knew, deep down that I was not living what I was "preaching"!! It was so frustrating to me and yet I couldn't get my mind right ... and so I sought professional help towards the end of 2016 which, was helpful because it made me realise that my greatest sabotage was the word "DEFIANCE"!!

I hated others commenting on my weight, and/or giving me advice on what they thought was best for me and offering me all sorts of different ways to reduce my large appearance! I know that pretty much every one of those friends and family had the best of intentions (or so I hoped), however, unbeknown to them, they were all setting me up for further failure because I would get into a downward spiral of fear and pressure that I was now not only letting myself down, but letting them down too ... and it just exacerbated the pressure to "perform" and achieve results. It also had the effect that I was terrified to be seen eating food of any kind in front of them for fear of their judgment (even if they never said anything directly to my face) - I imagined the judgments that were potentially going through their minds without actually checking to see if I was correct! And so on and on the cycle has been perpetuated ... and it was all too much!

But in December 2016, when that one little word became so evident to me - DEFIANCE - I realised that whenever someone tried to tell me what not to eat, my defiance would actually intensify and strengthen and then I would eat twice the amount that I had intended to, just to prove that I am not under their control! Of course, this was completely to my own detriment and was a very subtle, yet significant form of self-sabotage! I realised this when my therapist said "Don't eat the whole block of chocolate, try to just eat one or two pieces tonight" ... and I went home and literally, I wanted to eat two (2) blocks of chocolate that night ... just to defy her ... and it was a revelation!

Subsequently, I reflected on my life and various events where for example a close family member, God Bless them, tried to be helpful by telling me I didn't need to eat a teeny tiny mini Lindt chocolate (for Easter!) ... and I just looked at them and said "Watch Me!" and I literally shoved two or three more in my mouth just to defy their criticism of me! I also realised that there was plenty of critics but not many real encouragers, except for my amazing husband who has only ever been accepting and supportive of who I am, what I look like and how I live ... I was very rarely praised for making good choices in food or for abstaining ... I was only ever pulled up when I ate the "wrong" foods or appeared to be over-indulging, despite the fact that I don't believe I have ever been an "overeater".

Now I should disclose that I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome ("PCOS") at the age of 29yrs and whilst this is no excuse for being overweight, it certainly doesn't make weight loss easy!! I know that many other women struggle with their weight as a result of PCOS and I empathise completely! I was put on medication and told my life would be transformed but 15yrs later, I am still struggling and reached my heaviest weight ever! No one told me that the medication would make me have an upset tummy pretty much permanently, that my tummy would make awful and very loud gurgling noises, that I would feel nauseous and awful from it ... and I'm a shocker at taking pills - I avoid them at all costs, so I was on and off the meds over the years, along with yo-yo diet fads - believe me, I think I've probably tried 90% of diet programs on the market - and this didn't help either!

Lo and behold ... in December 2016, I realised that something had to change ... I had to change ... and I decided to make one last ditch effort to lose this weight and try what I thought was a radical way of eating ("WOE") ... which I committed to commencing from 01/01/2017. This is not for everyone so I'm not trying to convince anyone to take this WOE on, however, if you have struggled for years and are sick of your weight being in control of you, rather than you being in control of your weight, I urge you to investigate, research, learn and trial this WOE ... it's working for me and thousands of others ... and I believe it is the "Fat Loss Secret" that most of these diet generating "gurus" are not talking about because it won't keep you fat, and so you won't relapse and put on again ...and then go back to their diets time and time again without real, long lasting success! This WOE is nicknamed "LCHF" or Low-Carb, High Fat but has other names like Banting or Ketogenic Living or just Keto.

Disclaimer: I am not competing with any of the big players, I am simply journalling my experiences and outcomes, progress, set backs and thoughts around how this has changed my life. If I can encourage one person in this world, that will be sufficient for me!

Since 01/01/2017, I have quit sugar, I no longer eat anything that is high in carbs - if a food product contains more than 5g of carbs per 100g, I steer clear of it and I've learnt about the "Green, Orange and Red List" of foods so that I can stay on track. I don't weigh my food, I don't count calories, I don't measure things but I am careful not to over do things ... and it's working ... I've lost 11kgs and 8cms off my stomach girth measurement since 01/01/2017. I lost 7.3kgs in my first 4 weeks and 10kgs within 6 weeks, but then I had to do a blood test and I put on 4kgs due to carbo-loading. I have proved to myself that carbs are not healthy for my body because I had to do a fasting, carb-loading GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) and in 3 days of carbo-loading, I gained 4kgs!!!! That both freaked me out and pissed me off ... but also made me more convinced than ever, that it was not fat that was causing me to be fat, but the carbohydrates that I was eating ... so they are now gone forever (in the way I used to eat them)!! I'm so thankful that finally, I have found a WOE that is suited to my body!

I am now more determined than ever before ... 2017 is my year to be healthy and reach a weight that is more sustainable and better for my body but my expectations remain realistic!

The other really significant revelation is that I truly believe that my mind is in the right framework or state to be doing this now - nothing will deter me from this WOE. There is a lot of skepticism and criticism about LCHF from so-called experts ... but there is also a growing move towards it! I note that the CSIRO (in Australia) has just released their new way of eating and it pretty much promotes LCHF!! I am convinced and my results are my proof, but I also feel so comfortable and I'm loving the food too! I can put butter on my vegies, cream in my coffee and sauces - hmmm delicious! There are so many recipes to try so you can never complain about getting bored or eating boring meals ... they are delicious and there is a period of adjustment as your body re-tunes itself to not relying on processed sugar and carbohydrates for energy but instead goes into "ketosis" and literally uses your own stored fat as an energy source which releases your cells and reduces weight!

For more information on LCHF, please see the links on my BLOG and research for yourself whether this is something you want to try!

So ... welcome to 2017 ... I'm hoping to be more diligent in writing regularly and keeping you updated!

Let Determination triumph over Defiance ... every time!