Sunday, 4 October 2015

Who is the real me?

After many, many years of struggling with myself on a very weighty issue, I decided (after some encouragement) to write about my experiences, thoughts, observations and moments which have shaped my life to what it is today ... and the struggle continues ... daily! Weight a Minute ... what about me? This is a question and statement at the same time ... "weight" is something that I have spent much of my life struggling with and it feels like every minute of every hour of my life has been consumed by at least something that involves my weight and I'm completely overwhelmed and frustrated with it ... and it leads me to question "What about me?" - do I count for anything other than my weight, do people see and know the real me ... or do they just see and think they know the me that they see ie. the big blonde, the chubby tub, the cuddly mum, the triple layered waistband that I carry ... what about me? Do I get to be the real me every day or am I trying to pretend to be someone I'm not, to hide from people, events and situations that make me uncomfortable. Do I get to be me or just a version of me depending on whether I'm having a "less fat" or "more fat" day when I stare at the person in the morning mirror and kickstart myself to get moving and actually leave the house ... these are just some of the questions that I have contemplated over, cried about and stamped my feet in frustration about ... now it's time to reveal the real me ... and the journey is not always going to be pretty so be forewarned.